There were a million things I thought about writing about tonight. There is a lot going on in my world. A lot of annoyances I want to vent about. A lot of stressful situations. A lot of pending changes and unknown outcomes. But instead, I am going to write about gratitude.
Every night as my kids and I sit down at the dinner table, it is my time to connect with them. We eat together, laugh together, talk about our days. After we are finished we clean up together, put things away and enjoy the comforts of our new to us, little, old house. By far, this is my most favorite part of everyday and I feel safe to say, for them as well. We have began a tradition of going around the table asking each one of us the worst part of the day, the best part of the day & something we are each grateful for. In fact, the kids LOVE this. Mr. Personality Keegan is self appointed moderator and it honestly makes us all giggle as he goes from person to person asking us each the "interview" questions and using his index finger & thumb to point to the next interviewee. (Future Dr. Phil on my hands, proud mom ;)
I challenge the kids and myself to come up with something new each night that we haven't mentioned before. We even ask any guests that may be with us to join in to our tradition. It gives us each a chance to kind of reflect on our day and to truly take a moment to pause and appreciate. I have noticed a change in attitude that has now occurred. In fact, there have been several nights where each of us cannot even come up with a "worst part" of our day. Some of my favorite responses to the "best part" question:
~Walking home from school and enjoying the fresh air. (Jayden)
~School because my new teacher tells me I am so smart!
(Dr. Phil...err...I mean Keegan)
~Right now because I really like my family. (Jayden)
~Riding the bus because I do it all by myself (Jensyn)
Favorite responses to the thankful question, which I have began making a list of on the refrigerator in case any of us needs a reminder during the day:
~Our house...because its just ours. (Jensyn)
~My school because I "yove" my teachers. (Keegan)
~Mom. Because, she works really hard and is always tired, but still loves us & makes us laugh all the time. (Jayden, *tear*)
~Ramen noodles, because I don't like mashed potatoes. (Keegan)
~The Big Guy, because he doesn't have to be here, doing this, loving us, but he is. (me)
So, right now, even though there are so many things going on in my life that make me feel powerless, because I cannot (gasp) control them, I need to take a page out of my parenting instruction manual. I am instilling, or at least trying to, in my children to never forget to think about the things we have, the goodness in our lives. I am extremely lucky in so many ways. I have my health. I have 3 incredible, beautiful, smart, loving, funny, healthy kids who make me put things into perspective on a daily basis. I have a sexy, funny, loving, hard-working, incredible boyfriend who reminds me everyday about the good in this world. I have a HOME. I have this place to exist. This place where my children and I can truly, finally live in peace, happiness and fill it with love and laughter. I have a sister who is my best friend and who has given birth to incredible little people who squeal when they call me "auntie." I have a job that I enjoy and has introduced me to some pretty terrific co-workers and has allowed me to, for the first time in my life, become independent. I have furniture to sit on, food to fill our bellies. I have confidence in my intellect. I have access to the bistro at my hotel that is a certified Starbucks brewer which means I have now perfected the art of making the perfect iced skinny caramel macchiato!
It is these things, that in the months ahead, when the scary trials happen, and the anxiety is high, that I am going to remember and draw strength from. As much as I miss my old life, and crave the friendships I found so rewarding, I now know I can find happiness anywhere. It doesn't matter what zip code. I am strong. I am smart. I am lovable. I am able. I am going to get through hardships and after each hurdle, realize I am so much more capable than I ever dared imagine. In fact, we all are...we just have to figure it out for ourselves and look at that list on the refrigerator every now and then to realize it...
