So...it has been a crazy hectic week. I have been dying all week to update my blog...but no time! So here we go. I did it!! I completed my first 5K!! Not only did I complete it, but I beat my goal. I told myself if I could finish in under 36 minutes, I would be happy. 34:43 was my official time! BAM! The feeling after crossing that finish line was unimaginable. I have never felt so accomplished in my life. I did something that for me, was physically grueling as well as mentally grueling. The first mile was the hardest. That is the mile where the "You can't do this" monster was sitting on my shoulder telling me I was crazy. Telling me that I was still the fat girl who got tired watching other people exercise. That damn monster controlled 30 years of my life. I will be damned if he gets another minute. So to shut him up I found things to focus on. Whether it was Ludacris in my ear, or the chick in the lime green shirt that I kept pace with, I found small things to distract myself and took it literally inch by inch. I hate running. Like hate it. I'd rather have an episiotomy again, than run. So why do I do this to myself? Why? Because I am learning that I can do anything I put my mind to. I can run a race, I can leg press 200lbs. I can fit in a size 10 jeans. I can say no to unhealthy foods. I can be a better wife, better mom. I can teach people through my mistakes. I can make mistakes yet not allow them to define who I am. I can accept the fact that I am loved, flaws and all. I can and will one day learn to accept myself, all of me.
And that is what I have discovered through running. I don't know if I will continue to run, or if I will find another form of exercise that fills this same need, without physically torturing me. which brings me to the next part of my blog...
I am a lunatic, I know, and this will prove it. When I woke up the day after my race my left foot was killing me. After hobbling around all morning and complaining, I decided to go to the clinic and have it checked out. The doctor said, and I quote: "It appears you have some strained tendons. It is a very common injury among runners." To this...I smiled hugely and said, "Did you just call me a runner??" HaHa! OH MY GOODNESS! I have a sports related injury!!! The only time I have ever incurred a sports related injury was in high school when I high fived my mom after my high school football team made it to the championship game and my acryllic nail ripped off my actual nail and hurt like a mother chucker! But this my friends, this is an athletic injury which by relation means, I am an athlete!!!! This is amazing! So, even though my foot still hurts, especially when I wear shoes, and I might miss my next race this weekend, I LOVE having pushed my body beyond it's normal ability and having my body say "Chick, you're over doing it, slow down." Where as the first 30 years my body was begging me to get off the couch and just do SOMETHING. So that my friend's is how this messed up brain of mine works. 
I am a changed woman. Sometimes I don't even recognize myself. And I am not just talking about my outward appearance...I am talking about the person on the inside. She has a different outlook on life. She sees so much more positive. She takes pride in her appearance and her accomplishments. She has accomplishments! There are so many more things I have to work on, and I have definitely made mistakes along the way, and am still making mistakes. But as the old saying goes, I am a work in progress. And now I am actually working to make that progress.